SOMETHING BIG HAPPENED-THERAPY HAS COME TO AN END

              SOMETHING BIG HAPPENED 🧩

               It might not be big to you, but for me this moment was 6 years of so much hard work from Brendan and his dream team. When he was diagnosed with autism at 13 months old I set out a goal. The goal was for Brendan to be able to go to a typical school and to just live life like a kid is supposed to do. From the age of 1 to 5 years old his life was anything but typical. He had at home therapy 6 days a week for about 40 hours a week. While other kids had play dates he was working hard to just learn to talk, engage with others and to learn simple skills. The therapy was working and he was making unbelievable progress. He entered kindergarten at a typical school however he had full time therapists(aid) in class with him to make sure he had someone to spend the extra time teaching social skills and to help with things like controlling his emotions.

              This year he entered 1st grade at the same typical school with his full time therapists(aid). However the school, his teacher, doctor and team of therapist all decided that he has reached his goal. He no longer need anyone at school with him! HE DID IT! I DID IT! HIS TEAM DID IT! MY FAMILY and FRIENDS DID IT! He told me he feels like such a big boy. I have been a complete emotional wreck since getting a text yesterday from his amazing therapist saying, “just finished my last day with B and he gave me a HUGE HUG while I tried to hold back tears.” That exact moment everything hit me. Every emotion from the feeling of getting his diagnosis to feeling envious of other typical kids, feeling sad on days when autism just got the best of us, to feeling happy when he walked into school for the first time. All happy and sad thoughts just hit me like a ton of bricks. His autism is never going to go away but we made it to a place that so many other kids on the spectrum never get to experience and that is what is making me so emotional.

                He will still have his 2 hours of speech therapy and his weekly feeding therapy. Those won't be going away anytime soon. He also recieves physical therapy for his hyper mobility syndrome. Then all his other activities are also therapy for him. His dance, gymnastics, modeling, acting baseball, basketball and soon he is about to start soccer! He is the busiest kid I know!!  #autism #autismawareness 
                 

Autism Boy dances to Steal the Show

Brendan competed his solo this year and did so amazing. I was so proud of all he accomplished this dance season. He has worked so hard and wants to be a star. I told him he can be anything he wants but it all takes hard work. I am so grateful to everyone who has continued to support our family and that help us to continued to educate others that getting diagnosed early is the key!!!!

Celebrating So Much Success at 5 years old

This is the first time I have decided to do a Vlog(a video log)! I hope you enjoy it. Extra special thanks to Franco Zavala for making this amazing video!

Getting Early Intervention for Autism works and My Son is Proof - Brendan 4 years old

       The last 4 months have been the greatest months since we started this autism journey. I have so many amazing stories and progress to share so bare with me while I brag about my son. Getting to brag isn't something I am used to but I am going to continue to enjoy every second.
          Anxiety has been a big issue for Brendan over the last 2 years. He has refused to get into anybody else's car expect for mine for the last 2 years. This has been such a struggle for us especially my husband because he wouldn't even ride in my husbands car. We have been working on getting him to just touch anther car from the outside to putting his iPad in the car so he would have to get in the car to retrieve it. We have worked on this for over a year. I am happy to share that he has gotten into a couple different cars over the last couple months without an issues. This is a huge win for all of us. Going to a bowling alley has also been a big struggle the last 2 years. Well this kid just walks into bowling like he has done this before. He listened, waited his turn to bowl but the best part is he had so much fun! He had an amazing experience at the dentist and the doctors. He used to kick and scream at both of those. He is starting to understand what is going on and he is realizing that all the things he was so scared of are all ok.

         
  I was asked by AZA United to speak to American Airlines employees to give a parents perspective on flying with a child with special needs. I was able to share all of my own fears I have when flying with Brendan along with his anxiety issues. I wanted them to know that autism can be an invisible disability but their employees still need to be educated. If we are in the air and Brendan starts crying it is not because he didn't get a cookie its because he is terrified. I wasn't even sure if he would get on an airplane since he has anxiety to so much. We are getting ready to leave on a 10 day vacation and I was terrified that it was going to be a disaster flying with him. After my speech was over I had some of the employees approach me and say they wanted to help. They set up a day where we got to go the American Airlines hanger at Sky Harbor airport. They had a plane set out just for him! They had it turned on so he can hear the sound. They let him go into the plane and explore anything he wanted. He was super excited to go into the plane but I wasn't sure if was actually going to go in. But what do know he walked right in with absolutely no issues. American Airlines has gone above and beyond for my family. They made sure our trips next week will be perfect. They have helped me so much. It is one less thing I have to worry about on our trip. Thank you to AZA United for choosing me to represent your company and thank you to American Airlines for making sure Brendan has the best experience flying.

  Brendan started taking a tap and ballet combo dance class with 3-5 years old in late March. He loves to dance so much and he is always wanting to join his sister Haley's dance classes. So I thought why not let him try the class. He absolutely loved the class. He picked up on the dances that the other kids in the class had already learned so fast. He showed such natural skills in class. I was blown away. He blended in with the other typical kids. Watching him in the class he didn't show any signs of his autism well maybe a couple non stop spinning episodes but that would be it. After a couple classes I said something to one of the other moms about him having autism and she didn't believe me. I had to try and convince her that no he really does have autism. I said he has made so much progress in the last 3 months that if you had met him 6 months ago you wouldn't be questioning me because it was so much more obvious. This is something I only could of dreamt of. Brendan was able to perform in the big dance recital. Thank you to Adaptive Force Performing Arts owners Amber and Mike Wittmers for allowing Brendan to have some special privileges to insure he had a great experience. I stayed with him at all times and was able to stand on the side of the stage during his performance. The first time he walked on stage in front of a couple hundred people and danced his little heart I was a mess. I stood on the side of the stage crying my eyes out. I just couldn't even believe this was really happening. My little boy who was diagnosed with autism at 13 months old was stage dancing. As a mom you don't get to dream big for your child after the diagnosis. You never think you chid will be able to do what typical kids get to do. This is why this moment was so emotional for me. It is a moment that will stay with me forever. After the first day of his performances were over I think every person who watched him in the audience came up to him and said how amazing he did. It just warmed my heart. I had moms coming up to me with tears in their eyes after watching him. He truly touched every single person in the audience. He proved that even with autism he can do anything. I didn't get to watch him at the recital other than a side view which I couldn't see his face so I am egerly waiting for the recital dvd to arrive. Here is some video of him on the practice days.

In the middle of April started taking swim lessons. We started him in the ISR (infant survival rescue) program. He goes to swim 5 days a week for only 10 minutes. It is supposed to last 6 to 8 weeks. The first day in the water he just goes in with no fear and holds his breath and breaths out his nose like he had done this before. But this was the first time. He has always had floaty's on when he was in the water. The weeks continued and he was catching on so fast to swimming. At about week 5 and 6 he began to struggle a little. He just wanted to swim, he didn't want to do what was asked of him. I really struggled to communicate what he needed to do. But after just talking with him as much as I could it all finally clicked. He finished the program in 7 weeks and is fully swimming on his own. This program is absolutely amazing and I recommend it for everyone. He once a again was able to do what the typical kids were doing. The water has always been very calming for him but it was also an unsafe place because he had no fear. But now I can have some peace of mind and know that he can swim and enjoy himself.

          Brendan is now one of the most social little 4 year olds. He will say hi to everyone in the room and he will continue to say hi to you until you answer him. He will say thank you when someone compliments him most of the time as well as he says your welcome. He always wants to play make believe like doctor, house, school and babies. I love that he will play all of these things with his sister.   Everyday he is making so much progress. I am not even sure if I have really grasped all of this. This is all proof of why getting early intervention is so important.

3 Year Anniversary of getting his Autism Diagnosis-Brendan 4 years old

I honestly can't believe it has been 3 years since Brendan got his autism diagnosis. He has worked so hard over the last 3 years and he has made more progress than anyone ever expected. He has the most amazing team of therapist. They truly are the dream team. They are all family to us and mean so much to our family. Here is look at how much progress he has made over the last 3 years!

Early Intervention is working, the Best Doctors Visit-Sept/Oct 2015-Brendan 3 years old

 

       I can't believe it is the middle of October already! I have so much to share with you. Brendan  goes to his developmental pediatrician doctor every 3 months for a routine check up. He goes to the Melmed Center where he has 2 doctors that he sees. He has Dr Melmed and Dr. PeBenito. So really he gets to see each of them every other time. This visit this time was with Dr PeBenito. We were the first appointment of the day at 7:45am. I always get such bad anxiety before these appointments because I never know how they are going go. Dr PeBenito opens the door and says Brendan I am ready for you. He hears her call his name so he gets up from playing with the office toys and grabs my hand and we walked up to the door and she says,"Hi Brendan". Brendan says, "hi"! We follow her to the exam room first. This is usually never a fun experience for Brendan. She asked Brendan to step up on the scale and he steps up without any hesitation. I was so shocked he did it without a fight or tears! She then asked him to stand against the wall to get his height measured. Then she said ok lets jump up on the table so I can look at your ears and listen to your heart. Well Brendan says,"NO". I told her he doesn't like the paper that is on the table you sit on. So she takes it off and what you know he jumps up for her. He lets her look in his ears and listen to heart. We are now done in the exam room so it is time go into her office. Brendan walks in and starts playing with her toys. She says, "Brendan what are you playing with"? He says, "dinosaur" (obviously in his language). She then says can you bring me the dinosaurs? He gets up and takes his 4 or 5 dinosaurs over to her at her desk. She asks him to count the dinosaurs. He counts out the 5 dinosaurs for her. Then without her saying anything he looks at her and says,"here you go" and hands her one of the dinosaurs to play with. At that moment she looks up at me with a GIANT smile on her face and says,"I am completly blown away with his progress. He greeted me, he answered the questions I asked him. He looked at me when I called his name and he interacted with me." She said he is proof that EARLY INTERVENTION works. She said the progress he has made even since the 6 months she had seen him last was just incredible. At that moment I wanted jump for joy. It was such an incredible moment to hear those words come from a doctor who treats kids like Brendan all day long. She said I can't wait for Dr. Melmed to see how much progress he has made! This was the best appointment we have ever had. We get in the car to leave and I start to break down and cry. I said to myself why is it every time I leave this place I cry? But this time I was crying tears of joy. All the hard work is starting to show. I was so incredibly proud of my son!
                          Brendan doing speech therapy

      This great news from his doctor couldn't come at a better time. Brendan has to work through some changes going on right now. His main habilitation therapist who spends 5-6 days a week with us just gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy, so we are going to miss her for the next 6-8 weeks. We do have someone filling in for her but she is only able to do just a couple hours a week. It is a bit of a change for me too, we actual have a little free time. I am just hoping he does ok with a little bit of a break. It would really crush me if had any regression.
      I am getting ready for our 3rd annual Autism Speaks Team Brendan walk next week. We are going to have a huge turn out and we are so grateful for everyone who is helping us spread awareness.

I am also getting ready for Halloween. This year I have joined the Allergy Associations campaign to go Teal. This is a for you to have a teal pumpkin visible which says you have a non food item to offer trick or treaters who have food allergies. As many of you know Brendan has close to 20 food items he is allergic to. So this means he can not have any kind of candy. It breaks my heart. He hasn't really learned that he can't eat candy because his sensory issues are what make him not eat the candy. But sooner or later it is going to effect him. We have put flyers all around our neighborhood and we have also tried to talk to neighbors. I hope they all jump on board this year! 

Brendan turns 3 years old - May 2nd, 2015

     
      Today is May 2nd and my beautiful baby boy turns 3 years old. I have been actually hoping this day didn't come because it is so bitter sweet for me. All week I have been reflecting on this past year. I sat down and read some old blog posts I wrote from last year and I really can't believe how fast this year flew by. Brendan doesn't look like a baby anymore. He looks so grown up and so BIG! Yes he is tall and just so solid for his age which I think makes him look older. I am having a hard time carrying him around especially when I have to carry him up our stairs, lol.
              Most parents when their kids have a birthday they might get a little emotional knowing their getting older as I do when Haley has a birthday. But for me having a child with autism makes turning a year older extremely depressing. Any autism mom that reads this will understand and relate. For me Brendan turning 3 means he is expected to have so much more developmental growth. Which on paper or when he gets tested so many more skills are add that he can't do. So it is just an age but its more than just an age for me. When people would ask me how old he was I always say just 2. I never said 2.5 or almost 3 because then more questions could or would come. At 2 years old I felt like it was a nice safe zone. The only really thing was people would say is he talking or when we are at the store people would ask him his name. But it was easy to kind of take the conversation a different direction. But already I encounter what I know is going to happen all the time. I recently ran into two moms that we used to go to Gymboree with. Its been almost a year since we saw them and the first things they ask and talk about is what preschool is he going into this fall? How is potty training going? So I just came right out and said well, "Brendan has autism so we are holding him back a year so he will not start school until next year. And potty training isn't even on my radar. And btw he is sitting in a highchair watching his iPad here at Peter Piper Pizza because he hates crowds and loud places so this is the only thing that keeps him somewhat calm." You all know me I am 100% open about Brendan having autism and I will everyone if I could. But it isn't that in these situations it is more of having to be reminded that your child is far behind and different. Man it makes me cry just writing about it. This is a pain that will never go away or ever get easier. Every year on my kids birthday I write a letter to them so here is my letter to Brendan!

 Dear Brendan,
      How is it that you are already 3 years old. It feels like yesterday when I was planning your 2nd birthday. Just a minute ago we were celebrating you waiving, clapping, saying momma and learning to jump.  You are 100% FEARLESS. I knew I would regret you learning to jump. You jump and climb from anything and everything. We have had to bolt every single piece of furniture to the walls to keep you safe. You have never had a day where you didn't have 10 plus bruises on your little body from all your stunts around the house. You have definitely learned how to push all the boundaries. But this is part of your personality that has developed the most in the past year and I want to embrace it but I also want to keep you safe.
      But the thing you love the most is just getting to be a kid and explore. You love numbers and letters so much. You know how to count backwards which almost made me fall out of my chair when I heard you. When we go to target or the grocery store your favorite thing is to look around and find and say every letter or number you see. It puts a big smile on your face. You love playing with legos, airplanes, cars and trains. You have also finally learned to like your strider bike. You love going in the front yard and riding around following your sister around the court. You love to watch strange youtube videos of kids or cartoons speaking in other languages. I swear you know what they are all saying. It is pretty fun to watch you interact with all of your videos you watch.
     The best part for me this year was you getting and learning how to use your communicative device. It allows you to use your voice. Your voice may not actually be heard or say anything but you are able to use your device as your voice. However along with your device you have learned what the word "no" is. So if you don't want to do something you either say "no" or "all done". I think the device is starting to allow you to be more independent. Just the other day you wanted to stand in the bathroom and brush your own teeth. I stood there and cried watching you. Moments like this are so precious because you have worked so hard to understand everyday things we do.
       The biggest change you have made this year is your social skills! OMG it is so amazing how you will come and greet everyone who walks in our house. You say :"hi" and wave and look at them in the eye!! You are wanting to play side by side with other kids, you are learning to share so good. But also your pretend play is just incredible. You are playing appropriate with almost every toy. I watched you take a baby doll and try and swaddle her in a blanket and then hold her cradled in your arms, Once again tears flowed down my face.
     The thing about you that hasn't changed is your excitement over everyday things. You have a laugh that is contagious a smile that warms my heart and just a pure joy about life. I sit and watch you everyday and see what an incredible smart and fun little boy you are. If everyone could be half has happy as you, the world would be a better place.
        No matter how hard the week was, or how hard the year's been for us, you always put a smile on my face. You and Haley are the reason I can get through the tough times. You both are my motivation for everything. I'm grateful everyday of my life for this amazing, perfect little boy we created. Thank you for pushing me to be the best mom I can for you! You have touched so many lives and when you are older I can't wait to share all the stories of other families that you have allowed us to help.

Happy 3rd Birthday Monster!
We love you so much!

Love,
Mom

        

The signs of how I knew my Son had Autism before the age of 10 months old

  The one question I get asked all the time is how did I know that my son had autism at such an early age. I know I have shared in my first original blog post our experience of when Brendan first got his diagnosis but I just want to give a more detailed post of all the early signs when I knew something just wasn't right.
     The very first week of life when Brendan came home from the hospital he had what I thought was colic. He seemed to always just cry and not much would sooth him. During the first couple weeks he was extremely constipated because he went almost 2 weeks without a bowel movement. I tried the grape juice, prune juice gas drops nothing was working. We then we tried the dark Karo syrup in each of his bottles. That definitely seemed to work to get things moving. But he still seemed extremely uncomfortable and still had the colic. I was extremely concerned with the amount of Karo syrup I had to put in each bottle for him to have a bowel movement. This stuff was just pure sugar. A couple months have gone by and the Karo syrup was starting to not work anyone. We then proceed to try every single kind of formula that we could buy. That seemed to just make things worse for him. Some of the formulas like the soy based definitely made him extremely sick. Other formulas would give him horrible diarrhea. Then he started to get these horrible body rashes, so then we were referred to a gastroenterologist at Phoenix Children's Hospital. Brendan was now almost 5 months old. As sick as he was the first couple months he still some how was gaining weight. His doctors honestly couldn't even believe his size considering he couldn't tolerate any of the formulas. His GI doctor had decided to put him on a prescription formula called Neocate. It was free of the seven major food groups, soy, dairy, eggs, gluten, peanuts, shellfish, and wheat. Well that was a game changer for us. Brendan finally seemed to be colic free and just seemed to be a happier baby without any reactions. The first couple months of his life just seemed like one big blur to me. But now he was 5 months and we finally had a formula that agreed with his body.

        I could now function and enjoy my baby because he wasn't always crying. But then he faced another medical issue. He was born with a pretty awkward shaped head so at 5.5 months he was fitted for a helmet to reshape his head and to help his torticollis that he was diagnosed with. So we now were trying to adjust to wearing a helmet for 22 hours a day. He actual did very well adjusting to the helmet. He ended up needing a second helmet because it wasn't corrected with just the one. So he wore both helmets for a total of 6 months from 6-12 months.

     If so far he hadn't overcome enough hurdles he was faced with another medical issue. When he was born he had what was called a Chordee. This was a congenital condition resulting from abnormal development of the penis. We found this out shortly after birth, but they didn't want to do the surgery until he was 6 months old. So at 7 months old he went in for surgery and had the chordee repair done. The surgery took about 3 hours and within 2 weeks or so he was healed and back to normal.
    During all this time he had started to fall behind in his milestones. My first thoughts were well his helmet was holding him back from sitting up, rolling over and other milestones that he should have reached by 6-7 months old. So I just started to pay really close attention to him. As a couple months passed I started to notice a lot more "Strange" characteristics. I started to take notes and write down anything that I thought was not really normal for babies to do. I had decided to not even tell my husband about any of the concerns I started to have. I also started to video him on top of taking notes because I thought when I do tell my husband I can show him video of the things I was talking about. By the time Brendan was 9 months old my list of concerns had seemed to become significantly large. Here are just a few of them:
-never makes eye contact with anybody
-always rotates hands and feet
-doesn't talk or babble just makes moaning sounds
-does not respond to his name
-will not self feed
-rejects all foods solid or pureed
-doesn't clap or wave
-isn"t crawling
-will not cuddle or let you hold him
-always tenses his legs and arms
-hates when his hands & fingers are touched
(please see photo below of my full list)

     I had started to google some of the concerns on my list and "autism" seemed to keep coming up. I had come across a self assessment test that I could take that would tell you if your child was on the spectrum. I took the test and my results told me that my child was on the severe end of the autism spectrum. I honestly couldn't even believe what I was reading. I kept thinking he is to young and there is no way he has autism at 9 months old. I continued to google and research everything about autism. I was reading that a lot of kids with autism have GI gut issues just like Brendan was having. Also his head and penis issues started to make me think that those also played a part in the autism clue's. Those things just weren't developed all the way along with his gut not being fully developed.  So many things started to make sense. Well my nightmare started to seem like more of a reality. It was time I told my husband. I was so scared to tell him because I thought he is going to be mad that I have kept this to myself for the last couple months. I sat my husband down and showed him the videos I had taken and then showed him my list of concerns. He was pretty quite and didn't say much other than lets not jump to conclusions or assume anything. He suggested that we make an appointment with his pediatrician and discuss our concerns with her. Over the next couple days my husband started to pay more attention to Brendan and watched him closely. He came to me and was extremely upset because he couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed these things like I did and now he was seeing all the concerns I was talking about after our talk. My husband works two jobs to support us so honestly there is no way he would have seen the things I was seeing.

     The following week we went to see his pediatrician. As we were headed to her office I had told my husband that if she thinks I am just a crazy over protected parent then we were going somewhere else for a second opinion. We sat down with his pediatrician and showed her the videos and went over the list I had made of my concerns. Brendan wasn't having a very good day but I guess that was a good thing so she could see him this way. Well once again my nightmare was becoming a reality. She told us that she definitely thought he was showing a lot of signs of having autism. She then referred us to a developmental pediatrician because they are the ones that can give the diagnoses.

     We were referred to the Melmed Center but unfortunately there was a 6 month wait list to see any doctor there. But they told us because Brendan was only 9 months old that they would move us to the front of the wait list and when they would get a cancellation they would call us first. Just a couple weeks later on March 12th 2013 at noon I got the call saying they had a cancellation at 1:30 that day. Of course I said we will be there. My anxiety and nerves started taking over. I was so scared because I knew my life was about to change. We meet with the doctor and did a lot of just answering questions that she asked us. After we did that she did an evaluation on Brendan. She also agreed that Brendan was showing all the signs of having autism. So because he was only 10 months old his doctor wanted to give him the "at risk of autism diagnosis". She wanted us to start him in therapy right away for the next 3 months. Over the next 3 months Brendan received speech, occupational therapy, feeding therapy and physical therapy. Well unfortunately he seemed to be getting worse and not better. We went back to the Melmed Center for our 3 month check up. Brendan was now 13 months old and his doctor now felt comfortable with giving him "Autism Spectrum Disorder" diagnosis. Even though I knew this was coming hearing those words coming out of your doctors mouth was absolutly the worst feeling I have ever gone through so far in my life. There really isn't any words to explain the feeling I felt at that moment. But what I did know is that I was going to do everything I could to make sure my son was getting all the help he could get. From that moment I have been his voice and I have had to do so much fighting but he is now almost 3 years old and he has been getting 46 hours of therapy a week for almost the last 2 years. He has made such incredible progress but he still has a long road ahead of him. The best advice I can give any parent is always listen to your gut and be the loudest voice for your child! Happy Autism Awareness month!