It is Monday night December 16th and I normally write my blog at the end of the week but tonight I feel that writing is what I need. Brendan had his speech evaluation this morning with a new therapist and in a new place. We are doing another evaluation because I need more proof to show the state that he needs more therapy. So I know in my head what the therapist is going to tell me about Brendan. I know he won't score good but for some reason listening to someone tell you doesn't get any easier. Now that I have been through a couple evaluations I know what to expect. They do a play base testing and go down a list of different skills. Brendan was being his typical self and jumping from toy to toy and wouldn't give the therapist any attention. She observed him for over an hour and also asked me lots of questions. The final report of the evaluation I won't receive for about 3-4 weeks. But she did give me an overall explanation of her thoughts. She said he is pretty much at a 3-6 month old speech skill level. There is one area that he is just barely hitting the 9 month level. However she said his problem solving skills are above his age level. Except he is a non verbal problem solver. But she isn't evaluating him on that level. Listening to her tell me that he needs so much help absolutely breaks my heart. We leave the evaluation and I get in my car and just start crying. I spent the next couple hours crying. I know I try and be strong all the time but today was a day that I just couldn't be strong. It just really hurts when you have to keep hearing how far behind your child is. Again I knew that I was going to be told this again but it just crushes me every time. Later tonight we were all finishing up dinner and I decided to play peek a boo with Brendan. He hasn't actually covered his eyes on his own to play but he lets me put his hands up to play. All of sudden he initiates the game and puts his hands over his eyes to play peek a boo. I was so EXCITED. This was a big accomplishment. Then after he played peek a boo I started to clap with excitement. Well you all know we have been working on clapping with him for about 5 months and he doesn't even put his hands together yet well he started to pat his chest which we figured out was his version of clapping. I put his hands together to clap and what do know he claps his hands for a brief second. You all have no idea the JOY that this brings me. I am now of course crying with tears of happiness. Thank you to Brian who was behind me with the video. I watched the video about 20 times tonight and cried each time. I sent the video to his aba therapist and she tells me she is crying because it is that big of a deal to us. What an emotional day it has been. My mother in law told me that Brendan knew how defeated I felt today and this was his way of telling me,"mom I am going to be ok, I will figure all these skills out someday."Here is the video of him playing peek a boo and clapping.
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